Пересказ: Tucker Carlson — Совет и размышления о воспитании, мужественности и охоте

Tucker: I\u2019ve Been Threatened\u2026

Источник: https://tuckercarlson.com/jim-webb-highlights

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Tucker Carlson [00:00:01] Welcome back to Ask Tucker. We're sitting here in the studio between interviews, going through emails that you have sent asking for advice. And because we are slightly overbearing and filled with opinions we can't contain. We're going to accommodate that with gusto. Okay, so here's the first question that we received. I'm about to become a dad for the first time. How do I teach obedience to a child without being a tyrant? Boy, that is a deep question. That's an actual email we receive from a really smart viewer. That's tough. Obedience is essential. The child must respect his or her parents, or else the child will go completely off the deep end and be unhappy. But instilling discipline in a child is a tightrope. Of course, being a tyrant works when the kid is little. But if you are unreasonable and arbitrary, at some point that child will mature into an adult and realize that you're a very bad leader, that you were unreasonable, arbitrary, and resent it and possibly turn against you. So really, the answer is never be unreasonable or arbitrary. Always give a rational reason, even to a small child, for the instructions that you're giving. No, you can't do that because the key mistake parents make, mothers make mostly, but also fathers is because I said so. Because I said so, what's the message that you're sending? The message that you're sending is rules come down from on high. No one explains why these rules are a good idea. And the only message that you get is, do this or I'll hurt you. There's something in the human spirit that at some point is going to rebel against that and should rebel against that because it's arbitrary and unreasonable. Whereas if you establish early, very early, at the earliest possible time, a connection between a rule and a reason, if you insert logic into the instruction, then even little kids get it. Don't touch the stove because it'll burn your fingers. And the other advice I would give is become. There's something about little kids asking why, there's a why stage in childhood I can't remember what age it is, but five maybe. Why? And it's just sort of endless talmudic, you know, colloquy between you and the child. Well, don't do that. Why? Well, because this. Well, why? And even the most patient parent can get annoyed. Well, because you snap in my unsolicited or I guess in this case, this solicited advice to any parent is try to stay patient. And as long as the kid asks why, provide an answer? And by the way, if at some point you can't provide an answer, it's on you. You're the parent, you're the adult. So if you can't actually explain why kids should be doing something, you need to assess whether the kid should be doing it. Which is another way of saying you're learning too. You should let reason be the guide that doesn't undermine your authority. It enhances your authority and creates a durable respect that will extend throughout your life. Your kid will respect you when you're old. If you parent like that. So that's my advice. All right. Next question. My girlfriend says I dress like a slob. Should a guy really care about his clothes? Oh, another good question. Let me answer this in the shortest possible way. If your girlfriend says you're dressing like a slob, obviously you need to make a change and fix yourself. Unless she's just, you know, trying to wound you. Unless she's just a nasty woman who's trying to belittle and degrade you and make you feel bad about yourself. In which case, find a new girl. But if she's sincerely saying, you don't look good, you got to do something about it. Then obviously you need to do something about it right away because you want to please her. And why wouldn't you? She's your girl. So there's that I specifically like. What do you mean? I dress like a slob. And you don't want your girl to dress you because that makes you obviously a lesser man. But if she is like reasonable objections to, like, your shirt being untucked or your fly being down or scrambled eggs on your shirt, like, deal with it. I don't ignore. But then you get to the larger question of how should a man approach the way he dresses. And there's really one answer to that. Question two, simplicity. Okay. Worrying unduly about your clothes is another form of narcissism. And it makes you, fancy boy. And you don't want to be that because nobody respects that. And you can't respect yourself if you're a fancy boy. You want instead to be a dignified man. And you do that through simplicity, by choosing the kind of clothes you want to wear and continuing to wear them on a regular basis. In other words, picking a uniform. Men wear uniforms. You know, the bus driver wears uniform. Soldiers wear a uniform. Private equity guys wear uniforms. Their uniforms are like, you know, some sort of untucked shirt and a, you know, a Patagonia vest with Allen and company embroidered on it or whatever. We all have uniforms. So pick your uniform and I can tell you what I do. I try to reduce in the name of efficiency and dignity, the number of minutes spent each day trying to pick an outfit. And so I've got, you know, 15 pairs of the same khakis, three pairs of the same shoes, and like, 50 pairs of the shirt that I am wearing now, which is blue and white. Check. Not because it's the most attractive shirt in the world, but because I kind of like it and I'm just going to stick with it. And if you opened my closet, you would see the same thing. And so my mornings are very brisk and efficient. I know what I'm wearing because I wore it yesterday and I'll wear it tomorrow. I think that that, you know, suggests a kind of self-confidence or in my case, it reflects it. Like, I don't know if you like this or not, but I kind of like it, so that's good enough. And I think that is good enough. Right? I think you should be neat. Your personal hygiene should be fine. I don't think you should douse yourself with all kinds of weird odors. You know, pour a bunch of chemicals on your body, stay clean. It's good enough. You know, I shave and wash my hair with soap. You know, pick a good soap, and that's it. Keep it simple. And that will be enough for your girlfriend, I suspect. Again, if it's not, find a new girlfriend. But it probably will be. And it'll just show that you have some dignity and self-respect. Which every woman wants, in which every other man respects. So that's my advice. Next question. I've got a two year old son and a baby girl on the way. Is it much different raising girls? Oh, no. It's exactly the same because men and women are identical. In fact, you can you can just choose the gender of your child because they're just a blank tablet, and you can carve on them whatever you want. Now, of course, genetics is determinative. And if you have dogs, you know that if you have children, you know that boys and girls are extremely different. Not just a little bit different, but completely different. They're both human beings, of course, both gift from God, but they are very much not the same. And you don't raise them in the same way, and you shouldn't at all be ashamed of that. Because they're not the same. Because there's inherent diversity, in gender. So here's the answer. Yes, it this depends very much, by the way, on whether this question comes from a father or a mother. And if it comes from a mother, I'm going to take a pass on this because I'm not a mother. I've seen one at work over the last 30 years pretty closely. But I don't really understand it. I'm not capable of doing it. And if I tried, I'd screw it up. But I am also, if I am impersonally a father. So I can tell you my approach, which I think is the right approach. And if you're a father, congratulations. Because having a daughter is the simplest, most low stakes, happiest, most rewarding experience you can have in life for this reason. You don't really need to do anything other than love the child. So if you have a son and you're a father, and if you. If you already have one, you know it's incumbent on you to teach the boy. That's your job. Teach the boy not to be the boy's friend, but to teach the boy the things that you know, the things that he will need to know in order to succeed in the world, both morally and practically. This is right. This is wrong. You know, here's how you change the carburetor or a chainsaw or whatever, whatever. You know, it's incumbent on you to pass on to your son. So it's a teaching experience. You are his teacher. That's your primary job. If you're the father of a daughter, you can. And I certainly have tried to teach your daughter as much as you possibly can. But that's not primarily your job. And and that's so for a reason. And it has to do with the way that children evolve into adults. So girls, I have noticed sort of seamlessly become women. And a lot of that is biological. I mean, the difference between a girl and a woman is biological. It has to with a reproductive system. And I'm not going to get into details, but you're aware of them, so you don't need to do anything to affect that. It just happens. One day you wake up and your daughter is a young woman, and then you wake up the next day and she's a woman, right? That just happens. You didn't do that. You had no role in that nature. God did that with a boy. There is a process by which that boy becomes a man. And in traditional cultures to this day, there is an actual ceremony around that initiation ceremony. You are now a man in Jewish culture, the Jewish religion. There's a bar mitzvah at the age of 13. You're now a man. And that exists for theological reasons, but also for reasons rooted in nature. It's not a seamless transition. How does a boy become a man? Well, he becomes a man because you teach him how to become a man. That's your job as a father, period. Not so with the girl. So if you're the father of a girl, it is in enough. In fact, it's more than enough. It's the core job to affirm that girl. By the way, in my experience, girls are much less likely to go completely off the rails. I mean, there are moments, seventh and eighth grade where a girl may be extra confusing to her father. You have no idea what she's saying. She may at times be annoying or emotional or whatever, but these are not, in the scheme of things, huge problems. You know, there are many exceptions, but in general, your daughter is not likely to become a junkie, you know, or run away with the circus or die in a DUI crash. I mean, of course those things happen tragically, but in general, girls are much more. Within the lines, right? They're not at risk in the way the boys are of going completely off the deep in. And you see the in college, you know how many boys wind up in rehab versus how many girls wind up in rehab? It's not even close. It's, you know, multiples, farmer boys do so with a girl, especially as her dad. You want to affirm her and let her know that you love her. And in so doing, you will change her life for the better. The way that women deal with men, react to men, understand men is heavily dependent, probably entirely dependent, heavily dependent on their relationships with their dads. So girls who grow up with a healthy, loving relationship with their dads was not criticizing them, yelling at them, barking at them, belittling them, but instead just loving them. Those girls grow into women who tend to have overwhelmingly tend to have healthy relationships with men. They feel good about themselves. They feel good about men, and they're likely to stay on a right and constructive path much more likely. So it really, really matters. I know this sounds like too simple to be real. But it has, in my experience, been true. I mean, there are times when you're called in by your wife, their mother, you know, to lay down the law on something. And that is your job to disappoint and your job. Don't outsource that to your wife. She's got enough to do. She's raising these children. So if she says you need to talk to the kids, including your daughter, about what she did wrong. Do it. Don't make her do it. She'll resent you for that. And she has every reason to. But in general, on most days, your job is to let your girls know you love them and you support them. And now it's that easy. It's super fun. So congratulations on your new daughter. All right, next question. Oh, this is a complicated one. What is the best gun for bird hunting? Wow. Okay, this could be an hour, two hour, three hour long lecture. But I'm not going to make it that. I'm going to try to make one interesting question. So I'm going to try to make this short because most people will not be interested. But the person who wrote this obviously is so for you. Whoever wrote this, here's my answer. Of course, it depends on what kind of bird you're hunting. If you're hunting waterfowl and duck and geese, you're probably going to want, you know, a bigger boar, bigger gun. You're going to want. I mean, people used to hunt with ten gauges. I've never actually seen one in a lifetime of waterfowl hunting, but that used to be, you know, ten gauges, like piece of sewer pipe or something. Shoot a big shotgun with, a big load. I think most people shoot 12 gauges still for waterfowl. I do not. I shoot a 20 gauge for waterfowl. It's a lighter gun. You know, the smaller the gauge, the bigger the diameter of the bore. By the way, that's how that works. For reasons that are too boring and complicated to explain. But I shoot a 20 gauge because I don't like the kick of a of a 12 gauge, and I think it's unnecessary is probably also not quite as sporting. And there are all kinds of 20 gauge loads, particularly for waterfowl which use the non led, very expensive, much heavier elements. With, you know, high brass magnums. They work great. I would, I would recommend those. But for upland bird hunting which is most of what I do. So that would be quail chucker obviously ruffed grouse even pheasant I would recommend the 28, the 28 gauge. So the four main gauges, conventional gauges that are others but are 12, 16, 20 and 28. And then at the bottom is 410, which is really, I think, kind of a specialty gauge is not good for that much rabbit hunting, maybe. But for upland birds, I think the 28 is the best. And not just because it's cool to shoot a small light gun, though I personally swing better shoot better with a lighter gun under 6 pounds. And 28 or lighter, of course, because they're smaller. There's that, but I think the load is better on the 28. Now, there's a lot written about the 28 gauge load, and some people call it a square pattern. I won't even get into that. But I think factually it's not square at all. But there's something about it that just hits better, hits harder. The pattern is tighter. I should I should have side by side. So I choke down my left barrel pretty tight, almost a full choke. So even at distance, at 30 yards, 40 yards, it's almost like shooting a rifle. Not quite, but you're shooting a very tight pattern and so on a going away shot, if you missed the first shot or if you've got a second bird that's like farther away, you can hit him at distance with a 28, I think, because there's something about the way that gun patterns is just more effective. But what I notice about it, since I use it, you know, pretty much every week, for birds, is that you don't wound birds with a 28. I mean, I've shot with a 20 most of my life. For the past 25 or 30 years, I've always had a 28, but I thought it was kind of a specialty gun when I switched to a 28 gauge. I wasn't wounding birds. I was dropping birds. I was killing them outright. Which doesn't really make sense. I've never got a, straightforward answer from any ballistics person I know. It's like, why is a 28 more effective than a 20? It's fewer babies, less gunpowder. By the way, a 28 uses different powder, uses a kind of rifle powder. Maybe that's it, I don't know. All I know is, as someone who birds on bird hunts a lot, you have far fewer wounded birds with a 28 than with a 20. And if you hunt, you know the last thing you want to do is wounded animal, because it's cruel. So I would strongly recommend at 28, I'm not the only person who thinks this is not some, like, crazy eccentric view. But I think if you use a one ounce, one ounce of shot rather than 7/8 or three quarters, but a full one ounce of shot in a 28 gauge, side by side shotgun or over and under, whatever you use, you will kill more birds. And it's just fun. It's the most fun. So anyway, I'm sure no one has made it to the end of that answer except the guy who wrote the question. But I hope that is sufficient. We have a lot more advice to give. As you can see, we're enthusiastic about this. So send us a question and we'll try our best to answer it. We'll see you next time.